Saturday, July 28, 2012

Silly Bumper Sticker Slogans

I hate bumper sticker slogans.  They're not all made for bumper stickers... it includes any attempt to summarize an entire political, spiritual, or social belief into a succinct word or phrase.  In addition to being unreasonably minimalist, they're often wrong or don't really describe what the person is really trying to get at.

For example, whenever I go to work I wind up parking next to a person living next door who has this hilarious bumper sticker:
Well, depending on where you are, I'd say the seal.  Wait, did you think seal hunting like, stopped?  Why do you think there's a yearly campaign to end the seal hunt?  Because people still hunt seals.  I mean, the very young ones are protected, but those are the little cuddly white ones.  This is clearly not that kind of seal.

The child on the left is a fully born, conscious, cognizant human baby... not a zygote, embryo, or fetus.  Those are not protected because they are not conscious, cognizant human babies.

Oh, believe me, I'm not just going to pick on nutjob right-wingers:

This is a pro-LGBT bumper sticker that is not actually pro-LGBT.  There are plenty of children doing fine with no fathers... in addition to the fact that there are successful single mothers out there, there are also, you know, lesbian mothers.

But back to the pro-lifers, shall we?
This plays on peoples' fear of, I guess, never having existed.  If I'd never existed, I wouldn't know that I had never existed, which for me would be no problem.

I'd like a bumper sticker that says "If you can read this, half of you wasn't left on a Kleenex in a hotel room after your father was given a handjob by a sex worker."  There have been billions upon billions upon billions of potential human lives that have been tossed away on Kleenex.  Or have died in the race-to-conception.  Or tossed away on a maxi pad.

I may as well call my parents and thank them for having drunk sex in the tavern one night 28 years ago.  My existence now may have depended on it, but so what?  If I hadn't happened, I wouldn't be here to worry about it.

Next, we need to remember that everybody who has ever loved anybody is bisexual:
It actually really annoys me when exclusive gays and lesbians use this.  Gays and lesbians have a very clear gender preference... for them, love does know a gender, it's just not the one society tells them it should be.

Which is OK, but don't use hokey slogans that don't apply to you to get that across.  If love really knew no gender for you, you could be happy pretending to be straight like NARTH thinks you should.